Relative To That Of A Plotless Fanfic
by naonaonao
Summary: It's a cliché. Pairings differ. Chapter two in progress.


Yes. That's right. I'm doing a One Piece fanfic. As in, like, oh my god! XD

This is dedicated to Shawnee. She dared me to write this.

I don't want the AN to be longer than the actual chapter. So! Disclaimer time!

I obviously don't own One Piece. I do, however, own all of the OCs and the name of the school, and etc. Meaning, you steal them, you die. Please don't steal. For your own sake.

Done in the POV of one of the characters. Please excuse any Mary Sue clothing descriptions. Sorry, but I just HAD TO.

**LIKEHEREGOESTHEFANFIC!**

Don't get me started on how the Straw Hat crew got stuck in our Chicagoan suburb during finals week—I don't have the time to explain all of that multi-dimensional mumbo-jumbo. Long story short; crazy magic purple-haired lady plus straw hats plus creepy sparkly shell…equals this. Feel lucky; I spared you the details.

And before we get started on the whole clichéd "DA 1 PEEZE CHARRIEZ GO 2 MAH SKEWL" story, let me say this: What else was I supposed to do, honestly? Leave _Monkey D. Luffy_, of all people, in a Polish kitchen full of meat and potatoes while I went to school for seven hours each day? Uh, I don't think so. Bringing them to school was my only option—my father would ground me for six _years_ if he found out six pirate-esque people were staying in our house.

Well, fast forwarding to Tuesday morning.

After ten minutes of Luffy's "What's that?", "What's this do?", "How does this work?", "WOAH, THAT IS SO COOL!" as I walked to school (luckily, I don't live too far from school and find the time to walk when I get up early enough—I had only wished it was springtime and not the third week of December so I didn't have to trudge through half a mile of snow), I arrived at the building and received odd stares as the four of them followed me to my locker. (Why four? Zoro hadn't any interest in following me to school, and made his way to my basement, where my brother keeps all of the weights. Chopper stayed, doing who-knows-what, mainly because a two-foot-tall reindeer would look out of place in a classroom.)

And then, homeroom happened.

The _second_ I walked in the door, no exaggeration, Hannah, the class "geek", bounded to where I stood and began looking everyone else over. Don't get me wrong, Hannah's a cool person…and she'd be pretty if she did something with her long, wavy dark blond hair and didn't wear baggy anime t-shirts all the time. She's smart and good artist, though, so I guess that makes up somewhat for it all.

"Aaaahh!" She squealed, once over the shock of it all. "Either you found some really good cosplayers or some parallel dimension lead the _real live actual for real _Straw Hat crew into Illinois!"

"Iris dropped them off at my house," I explained, by voice merely above a whisper. Actually, it's true. She knew I watched One Piece and they looked all-too-familiar to her, so she dropped them off at my place with little to no warning. Iris? Ah; she's my best friend, actually. She's half-Egyptian, tall, and quite pretty.

Before anyone could continue, Luffy poked my shoulder, and asked, "Who's she?". Before waiting for a response, he looked Hannah in the eye and asked bluntly, "Who're you?"

"My name is Hannah Flitter! It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.… ah, Monkey? Um, anyway.. uh, good luck with your dream and all! To become.. um, king of the pirates, I mean!" She stammered nervously and then darted back to her seat.

"How did she know about that?" Nami asked urgently.

"Um.." I began. Well, of course I'm not going to inform them that they're from an anime and manga series and that most people have heard of them—that would freak them out even more so than the fact that they're here in the first place. And it's not like I'd want to explain any of that to them, anyway—it took me long enough to tell them what a state was.

"Remember that girl with the long black hair? From yesterday? Iris?" I continued. "Uh… she told her." Nami responded with a nod, or something of the sort; I honestly don't pay much attention to details like that.

We walked further into the room, and, predictably, the next thing heard, besides all of the whispering, was a high-pitched voice; "It's YOU. I KNOW YOU!"

Teofila Perracielle, most commonly known as "Teo", is most likely the shortest, loudest, and most energetic girl at Trento High, no joke. She's half Italian, half Korean-Japanese, or Filipino—I forget. She's scarcely five feet tall and fifteen years old with a high-pitched voice and long dark hair with nicely-cut bangs, plus random gold and red highlights. Her fashion sense is unpredictable, and she's one of those people who you automatically assume should have their own TV show.

Teo bolted from her desk, revealing mainly goth-looking clothes, right past me and into Luffy, whom was at the front of the group. She then hugged him as if they had been friends for years. His response was merely a very, very confused look.

"Cheryl talks about you ALL THE TIME!" She continued, refusing to unwrap her arms from his mid-torso—seriously, she's that short.

"No I don't—" I tried to defend quickly, but, as always, Teo beat me to the chatter.

Freeing him from her grasp, she looked at the other three. "And you, " Pointing to Usopp. "And you." Eye contact with Sanji. "Oh! She said something about you, too!" She poked Nami; the only one within her reach. "Yeah-yeah, Hannah likes you too! I thought you weren't real…but I was wrong! Isn't that great?! I think it's great! Let's be friends!"

"Oi, we just met…"

"Come on, Te-Te, stop bothering them." A lanky Asian boy calmly coaxed, literally looking downward to make eye contact with her as she turned around. He was dressed mainly in red and white, making him look somewhat like a candy cane. Even his hair, spiky and dark, had some red streaks in it. Her cousin, Alex. Although I won't admit it to his face, most people have knowledge of my crush on him—but what can I say? He's extremely cute and, dare I say it, responsible. But that's expected; everyone in that family's pretty good-looking.

"No, Alex." Teo responded, nearly serious (it's hard to take something that cute seriously, and it's not like she ever takes anything seriously in the first place). "They're my new best friends."

Sanji smirked in amusement at this, Usopp eyed Alex suspiciously, Nami supplied an odd look, and Luffy remained ever-confused. I couldn't help but laugh, because honestly—it was hard to believe that Teo did this on a regular basis.

Slapping a hand to his forehead, exasperated, Alex shot me an apologetic look and sighed. "Alright." He poked her forehead and spun her around before returning to his own group of friends—one widely ranged, actually, but let's not get into that now.

"She's sort of crazy." I explained to the others.

"Um, who are you again?" Nami asked Teo hesitantly.

"My name is BILL GATES!" Teo replied. "I created the internet and make lots of money. I'm also the queen of England and Barbie's taller, older sister."

"Barbie?" Sanji asked as Luffy extended his hand out ("Nice to meet you! I'm Monkey D. Luffy and I'm gonna be KINGA THE PIRATES!").

"Ask my cousin for pictures. I'm sure he has them.. he's a closet pervert!" Teo exclaimed, grinning and spinning around. I swear, sometimes I wonder what fuels her up. I'd be scared to see her on coffee.

"Hm, sounds like someone I know…" Nami mused, looking at a certain blond chef. I'd agree, but without the closet part, that is.

As soon as Nami was finished with her thought, Iris showed up, knocking on the wall, as if asking for all of us to unblock the doorway. I then realized how long we had been standing there.

"Um, guys. Mind dispersing a bit?"

I somehow managed to seat them all in desks near people I knew at least _somewhat_, and one of my friends, Isaac, started a conversation with Usopp about…I don't know, mechanics or something, given what Isaac's into these days. Sanji managed to make his way to a group of model-esque girls, Claire and Hayden, and Nami stayed with me, having gotten along with Iris before. Teo, of course, literally _dragged_ Luffy to where she had been sitting before, giving him no time to object and immediately asked him how he was able to do the "sexy stretchy thing".

"So, have you figured it out yet?" Iris asked, blinking her eyes to expose shimmering green and silver eye shadow—she looks so _exotic _sometimes. She doesn't even need mascara. And on top of her imported wardrobe…

"No." I answered. "I _could_ ask somebody, but they'd probably think I was crazy…"

"Well, lets think." Iris suggested. "Nami. You remember how you got here, right?"

"Yeah. Some crazy old lady grabbed a shell from her pocket, and somehow transformed into a gorgeous maiden." Nami rolled her eyes. "Nobody else saw the transformation, but anyway. She offered the shell to Sanji, and, Sanji being Sanji, took it." Another eye-roll. "He held onto it for a while," She explained, "and set it aside when he was cooking. So then, he sliced a carrot. Cut up an onion. When he started chopping the celery, some crazy… portal, appeared from the oven. As in, it opened." She went on. "I don't remember too much after that, except landing in a pile of snow outside your house." She finished, looking at Iris.

"Maybe we need to find the weird old woman?" I recommended.

"But I think she can change form." Nami countered grimly.

"Ugh, this is just _too damned cliché _for me." Iris cut in, rubbing her temples. "Like a movie or something… can we talk about it at lunch?" Nami and I both agreed to her request and made out way toward the cluster of desks.

"Ooh, Iris." The class womanizer, Derek, commented, his eyes running up and down every inch of her body. He did the same to me, only silently—last time he did so, I gave him a black eye (what can I say? I play volleyball and soccer). Derek's _very_ physically appealing, and he knows it. With dreamy hazel eyes and fluffy light brown hair, a tall, semi-muscular build and a good sense of fashion, what girl could say no? At first glance, that is. He's hitting on literally _every _girl he sees—he even did so on Hannah once. He's rude, obnoxious, and very conceited, and expects every girl to say yes. Luckily, Lucy, the girl he's dating, is too much of a slut to notice what's going on.

"Wonderful choice of clothing, as always." He shot her a cocky grin. "Ooh, and you brought another sexy friend for me to play with—"

By now, Sanji was fuming and already to where we were standing, which wasn't that impressive, considering the small room size. Trento's not that big of a school, in the first place.

"Don't you _dare_ speak of my Nami-san in such a disrespectful tone!" He demanded.

"Sanji, you don't have to—" Nami started, but was quickly interrupted by Derek.

"Hey, pal, hands off, I saw her first!" Derek shot back. "Come on, Iris, Cheryl…redhead, why're you hanging out with losers like this?"

I honestly felt _bad_ for him. No, not Sanji. Derek. Sanji was stronger than he looked, that was for sure, and predictably have Derek a good blow to the head. And, as if this WAS one of those crazy cliché movies, Derek hit the floor as our homeroom advisor walked in.

Mrs. Odekirk. I swear, she's at LEAST sixty-thousand years old. Tall, bony, and not all that attractive, she was most likely one of the most old-fashioned, close-minded, strictest teacher at Trento. And of _course_ I had to get stuck with her. She taught English, luckily a subject I easily excel in, and would always wear skirts reaching as high as her chest, and button-down polo's with heavy gold pins and polished 1921-style black dress shoes.

"_What_ in GOD'S NAME is going on here?!" Oh, did I mention she's extremely religious?

"Um…"

"Look! Teacher lady! It's not what it looks like!" Teo began to explain, although it clearly wasn't any of her business. "You see, the blond guy…he was showing Derek a certain soccer move." She began to explain, looking Mrs. Odekirk in the eye sincerely.

"Right!" Luffy elaborated. "Wait…he was? I thought he was just mad. Oi, Sanji, weren't you—" I thought Luffy had just ruined any chances Sanji had of staying anywhere within ten feet of campus, but Teo, being the compulsive liar she is, covered for even Luffy, first by covering his mouth with her hand and then speaking.

"YES! That's right!" She improvised. "You see, his move is called the 'Angry Lotus' and it's actually very blunt, even though its name is all… SHABAM!"

"But Derek was saying—" Luffy, oblivious as always, began.

"Shut up, Luffy.." Teo sing-songed quietly, smiling innocently, as she elbowed Luffy in the ribs.

Mrs. Odekirk narrowed her eyes at Teo first—the two had never gotten along, really—and then at Luffy. "And you are?"

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be kinga the pirates!"

"Very funny, young man." Mrs. Odekirk then turned to me, most likely because I was the one closest to Derek and Sanji. "Is he with—" she began, but changed her tone when she saw Sanji. "And are you new as well? Ms. Feller!" She addressed me. "Are _all_ of these new students with you? Oh, look, another one!" Pointing to Usopp. "And another!" Eyes on Nami. "Excuse me, are _any_ of you students registered? No, I don't want to hear it! None of you are even dressed appropriately for a school atmosphere OR for the current weather!"

By now, everyone was staring. Nami, Usopp, Luffy and Sanji all looked at eachother nervously, then all eyes were on me as I spoke.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Odekirk." I began, taking words off the top of my head. "They're just, ah… friends. Visiting from town. He's my cousin, actually." I gestured to Sanji, since he was the only one out of them who beared even the slightest resemblance to me. "They walked me to school, and everyone wanted to meet them." Which wasn't _entirely _a lie; Hannah nearly glomped everyone and then fainted when she saw me at the doorway. "I could take them home for the day." I offered.

"Don't you have a Geometry final today, Ms. Feller?" Mrs. Odekirk countered.

"Yes!" I quickly replied. "But I can make it up tomorrow. I promise."

"Whatever gets these _hooligans_ out of the building!" Yes, my homeroom teacher seriously said 'hooligans'. "And _please_, dress them decently!"

"I should accompany them." Iris lied quickly. "He's unable to speak any English, and I'm the only one here that knows Egyptian." She gestured to Usopp, who pointed at himself questioningly.

"Ooh! I'm going, too!" Teo decided. "Because, ah, they're my new best friends!"

"I suppose that requires me to follow, also." Alex added, acting as her bodyguard.

"I don't see a need for _all_ of you to miss school!" Mrs. Odekirk countered adjusting her large, un-flattering glasses.

But we were already out the door.

**LIKECHAPTERONEJUSTENDED!**

XD Alright, so not my best work, and PROBABLY pretty OOC. But I got this far, didn't I? Four pages on Microsoft Word. That's right.

Well…please review. I'd write faster if you did! And I promise, the characters WILL be involved more in the next chapter. Stay tuned!


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